Homecoming

Today after 101 days in the NICU, Liam was discharged!!!!

The day started off with uncertainty if he would be discharged or not. We were told if it wasn't today it would be tomorrow. We had to wait until the doctors and residents finished rounding to see what the decision was. While we waited the nurse went over the discharge paperwork with us. I kept on having to really ask myself...is this really happening?

After we went through all of the discharge paper work the doctor came in and gave us the green light! We were good to go! We were leaving the hospital!

Here I am holding Liam for the first time with no wires. I can't begin to tell you how GREAT it felt. For the past 100 days I had to hold him being attached to a thousand wires. Every time I changed positions I kept on trying to catch the wires and alas, they weren't there. Awesome feeling!

Liam and I waiting for Clint to come and pick us up. I know he doesn't look happy but believe me he was!

Liam in his car seat on the way home. I've never seen Clint drive more cautiously and obey all traffic lights! Side note, the roads around Childrens Hospital are terrible . Every time we hit a bump I tried to hold Liam's car seat as much as I could so he didn't have to feel any of the bumps!

Welcome home Liam! We are finally home. It was such a great surprise to pull up and see this sign and a balloon. My mom and sister Monique planned this little surprise and it was so awesome to see! As soon as we pulled up my mom was there waiting with Noah in the car who was very anxious to meet his baby brother.

We celebrated tonight with having a dinner with our family and cake and ice cream. I know Liam doesn't look too excited, he's just upset he can't have any cake yet!

I'm so glad to close the NICU chapter of our lives and be home as our family of four. I've never been more excited about 2am feedings and dirty diapers, bring it on!

Recovery and Noah in the NICU

Today my mom, Noah and I headed to Childrens to visit Liam in the NICU. Noah can't come in because it's RSV season so my mom and I had to take turns to visit Liam.

Liam was doing just great and was taking all of his bottles, yay! They were only giving him Tylenol for pain and he was doing fabulous. My mom actually held Liam for the first time today! I wasn't able to witness it since I was in the waiting room with Noah.

Speaking of the waiting room with Noah...I have quite the embarrassing story to tell. Noah has the patience of a typical 3 year old which is zero. He was getting very bored while we waited for my mom so I asked if he wanted to play Simon Says. He agreed and got very excited. I started the game with "Simon says, stomp your feet!" and "Simon says, clap your hands!". I about died when Noah said "Simon says, shake your boobies!". Yep. That's my son who just said that within hearing distance of all the med residents and students. Awesome. I didn't know what to do. The "good example mom" told him that's not nice and tried to ignore it while the real me was laughing inside like a 12 year old boy. Noah always keeps things interesting!

Anyway, back to Liam! The nurse was acting like we would room in tomorrow night and then go home on Saturday. I am excited, the end is really near! Tonight Clint and I "nested" and got Liam's room already, swept and mopped the floors and did all of our laundry.

Bring it on! We are way ready and very excited to have our little Liam home.

Noah was so excited to visit "Liam's new house" at Childrens Hospital.

Liam's nursery is the Hungry Hungry Caterpillar!

Surgery and Recovery

Today Clint and I woke up pretty early to head to the hospital for Liam's surgery.

Noah slept at my parents house again, so that was a huge help in getting some good sleep.

We weren't told a definite time other than "late morning" so we wanted to make sure we were there to be able to see him off to surgery.

I was so incredibly nervous for the surgery. I just feel like he is still so tiny! He is only 4lbs after all.

We were able to go down with him and be with him until the last second before anesthesiology takes him. Poor baby kept on crying because he hasn't been fed since 3am and it was almost noon.

I help up pretty well until the end when I just started crying. My dad was with us and whenever my dad is around I feel very at ease and "together" but once we were in the room without my dad I just lost it. I was so nervous of the possibilities of the surgery and the chance of him coming back up with the ventilator.

I felt the surgery was one of the longest times of my life. The surgeon told us to expect an hour and a half and I tried to pass the time by playing on my ipad and frequenting the gift shop. It was close to 2 hours before the surgeon came out and told us everything went well and we will be able to see him soon. Thank God!

The surgeon told us that the surgery was so complicated that it took 3x the normal amount of time for the hernias. We were able to see him almost immediately and he was up and moving around. Liam wasn't on the vent either, phew! He had the saddest whimper I've ever heard! You could tell he was a bit in pain but was also very very hungry.

The doctors said if he was showing signs that he wanted to eat that we were allowed to give him a bottle, so we did just that and he took it like a champ. Once again, Liam amazed us.

We don't want to get our hopes up BUT the nurse said if he continues his feeds like he was that we may be able to go home as soon as FRIDAY. I think my jaw almost hit the floor because I figured Sunday and she was thinking Friday! I was so excited at this possibility.

Needless to say once Clint and I got home we started cleaning up and really getting the house ready for the possibility of Liam being home in the next 48 hours!

Helicopter Ride

For over 90 days we were told in the NICU Liam would be transferred to Children's Hospital via ambulance for his hernia surgery. Then, all of a sudden we were told he would be transferred via helicopter. Yes, you read right... HELICOPTER. If you are familiar at all with the New Orleans area you know that the distance between EJ and Children's Hospital is about 9 miles. 9 miles for a helicopter ride, seriously?

We weren't happy of the thought of our micro preemie son taking his first helicopter ride without us, it was just unsettling. Clint was very against it and told the doctors he wasn't a fan of the idea. We were told the day before the transfer that Liam would be transferred via ambulance. Phew!

We slept very well Monday night as Noah had a slumber party at my parents and we thought Liam would be going via ambulance. We woke up Tuesday and once we arrived to EJ we instantly heard the helicopter as we opened our car door. "Do you hear that?" Clint asked me. I was like "Oh well I'm SURE it's for someone else, transfers happen all the time. Right?". WRONG. Clint and I walked as fast as we could to the NICU to see Liam.

Once we arrived all of his belongings were packed up along with breastmilk and he was ready to go! He was actually sitting in his car seat just hanging out. We frantically asked questions to the nurses and all of a sudden the stretcher comes in the room with tanks attached and they were ready to take Liam. It was a lot to take in before 8AM for sure.

I felt that we were in full speed, we quickly signed releases as they whisked Liam away. I also had a lactation nurse come in asking me how pumping is going...what? C'mon lady, don't you see the stretcher for my son? Now is NOT the time.

We walked as fast as we could to the car in hopes to watch the helicopter leave. Luckily we made it in time and Clint was able to get it on video...listen closely to hear me sobbing in the background.



Once we arrived to Children's we were told he was safe and sound but we had to go to admitting to fill out paperwork for insurance and what not. I felt like it took forever and I was so anxious to see Liam. We finally were able to see him in the NICU and Children's NICU is so different. Not bad different or even better different just different.

That's when all the questions started. We were asked questions by our nurse, the resident in charge, a resident with a group of medical students, the surgeon, nutritionist and the anesthesiologist. I was asked all sorts of things from my moms anesthesia history, to my miscarriages, to my pregnancy with Noah...you name it! I feel like I told my medical and fertility background to a million different strangers.

By the end of the day I was so exhausted and emotionally drained. I was also a ball of nerves, I felt the same as the days before my emergency c section. I was just so full of fear and thinking of all outcomes (good and bad). After we spoke to the whole medical team, we were told there was a big chance Liam would come back up still on the vent and I wasn't a fan of that considering he was only on the vent for 8 days.

Noah slept at my parents house again on Tuesday night since we wanted to have a good nights sleep. I was so tired I just came home and passed out on my couch for an hour and a half. Stay tuned for my post about his surgery.

Preemie Prayer

I saw this prayer from a Facebook Group (Peek-A-Boo ICU) and I wanted to share.

Dear God, as you look down upon me,

I know that you might have to squint.

I'm located here in the NICU,

It's the nursery that I rent.

There are many alarms and sirens,

Connected to condos and flats.

The nurses tape my booties on,

And dress me in funny hats.

We have a lot in common,

All of us were in a hurry.

For many different reasons,

Our storks came a little early.

Some of us don't know why,

We bursted out from our bubbles.

We entered into this world,

Never meaning to cause any troubles.

Mommy and Daddy are worried sick,

About the odds that I must beat.

Please God, help them to realize,

That seeing me grow is a treat.

Breath by breath, I'll learn to breathe.

Ounce by ounce I'll tip the scale.

I'm like a boat in the ocean,

That knows not sink- only sail.

For I am a living miracle,

Mommy and Daddy must simply believe,

That you have angels watching over me;

From the time we arrive, till the time we leave.

Open House

I can't believe next year Noah will be in Pre-K. Tonight we went to an open house at the grammar school I attended for 10 years. I swear it was like going back in time!

As soon as we walked in I recognized many familiar faces. It was so comforting. Clint was amazed that the teachers recognized me after leaving that school almost 15 years ago.

It was so cute seeing the girls in the same skirts I started wearing back in the 80's! My closest friends were with me in kindergarten at this school and I talk to them all almost daily. I can only hope if Noah goes there he will have a similar experience and love it as much as I did.

My big boy is really growing up, I can't believe he turns 4 next month.

Bye Bye Isolette!

After many weeks (12 weeks to be exact) Liam is out of his isolette and in his open air crib, woohoo! This is a big milestone and I was so excited to finally be in an open air crib.

Keep it up little leaping Liam and you will be home soon!

Pinterest Find: Oreo Cupcakes

My good friend Ann brought these over a few days ago and they were incredible! I'm not a big oreo fan but I was sold on these cupcakes. I was telling one of my favorite NICU nurses Pam about these and she seemed interested so I decided to whip up a batch for my NICU nurses.

The yummy thing about the cupcakes is that they are lined on the bottom with a half of an oreo so it has a crunch to it. Here is the recipe.

If you are an oreo lover I highly suggest you give these a try, they are just too yummy. I love recipes that look like you put a lot of time into it and you didn't, it's a win win!

The Littlest Who Dat

Liam received an adorable Saints onesie on Friday just in time for the Saints championship game on Saturday. The nurses and I were trying to get Liam in the perfect pose and we were able to get a "touchdown!" pose. Check it out!

In other news, I chopped off 8 inches of my hair. :gulp: Yes, 8 inches! I went to the salon debating getting a drastic cut but couldn't decide on it. Well, Sheryl Crow's "A Change Will Do You Good" came on and I thought...well this is it! I'm liking my new hair and will be donating 8 inches to Pantene's Great Lengths.

Preemie Mother Poem

I saw this on another Preemie blog and decided to share.

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics, or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child.
I have sat in the NICU and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at my surviving miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to an alarm going off, another round of meds or because I am crying tears for fear of the unknown.
I will be happy because my baby is alive and crying out for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a preemie with physical challenges or medical issues, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell that many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

Author Unknown

Reflection of 2011

Oh 2011, how I love and hate you! You have given me and taught me many things. You are definitely a year I will never forget. Let's go over the highlights.

Miscarriage and Pregnancy
In March I had another miscarriage but I was lucky enough to get pregnant again in April with Liam. I've learned heartache through my miscarriages but found such happiness in being pregnant. My pregnancy with Liam wasn't easy by any means but just being pregnant was such a blessing to happen after my 2 losses. I've learned that just because you are fortunate enough to get pregnant doesn't mean you will have a healthy pregnancy or a healthy baby. Never take a text book pregnancy or healthy baby for granted, ever.


Learning Patience
I'd love to say that this whole experience with Liam has made me a patient person but I'm fortunate enough to say it's making me learn patience. I'm learning that no matter how much you plan and organize your life, God has all control. I had to trust God and have patience when I was being rolled into my emergency c-section three months before my due date. I'm now learning patience every day as we get closer to bringing Liam home. I have to keep on saying to myself "Liam won't be in the NICU forever" and then I feel a sense of relief. I think once this is all said and done, I will be more patient than I was a year ago.

Family
Going through my pregnancy and Liam's arrival has made me lean on my family more than ever. I could have never done this experience without my parents and my sisters. My mom has seen me cry and freak out more times since September than I can count. My mom has watched Noah daily since Liam has been in the NICU. I'm so very lucky to have the family that I do, 2011 has made me realize this.

I'm happy to say adios to 2011 and have big hopes for 2012. In 2012, we will take Liam home from the NICU.